Senior Years

My sister’s senior night for swim team was tonight. Thought I always cheer her on in spirit, I could not be there in person, and instead sat on my couch and pondered my own experiences of senior year.

Senior year of high school was full of celebrations-the first day of school assembly, homecoming, senior nights, yearbook day, every Friday out to eat while the younger students looked on longingly.

Senior year of college is also full of celebrations, though also the responsibility of staging them. The first day of class. The last day of a friend’s required internship. The passing of a hard test. Any time someone crosses an item off the list separating them and graduation. Honestly, we should be spending every night congratulating each other for just getting by.

Senior year of high school was piling friends in a car and driving to the beach for the weekend after prom, our first real sip of adulthood.
Senior year of college is scouring the web for the cheapest plane tickets to anywhere warm. I have one trip planned for March and am contemplating if I can afford another, to visit friends in California who were kind enough to offer up the couch.

Senior year of high school was a loss of freedom, when I crashed my car on the way to dance rehearsal and relied on my mom for transportation the rest of the year.
Senior year of college is criss-crossing North Carolina like it ain’t no thing, usually alone. I have learned to love solo car rides, as I spend the time catching up with long-distance friends via phone, or asking God to give me hints about my future (so far, none, but it’s always worth a shot).

Senior year of high school was simple decisions. App State was the only place I applied to and after I got accepted in December, the only other thought I had about the future was decorations for my dorm room.
Senior year of college is not-so-simple decisions. What do I want to do, where do I want to go? 21 years old and I have yet to come up with a dream job, though real life is rushing at me awfully and thrillingly fast.

The Bible says that to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. This senior year, I am in a strange season of juxtaposition, being totally confident in the grand future God has for me and yet having no idea what it could hold. Of scrolling through LinkedIn like it’s my job and then getting discouraged and retreating into a book. Of never wanting things to change and wanting absolutely everything to. Of wishing it was graduation day already and then praying please please, help me savor my senior year.seniors