I’d Rather Wait

……is my new life motto.

It started out as my new driving motto. I had a scare while driving my mom’s car and my parents told me “You’d always rather wait. If you can’t make a turn safely, stay straight and go around the block. Go around five blocks if you need. If it’s raining, slow down. Whoever you’re meeting would rather wait the extra time. We love an intact car and we require an intact person”. I agreed, and now I repeat to myself constantly as I drive “I’d rather wait”. 

Slowly but surely, that motto has leaked into other areas of my life. It did not come easy: I am not naturally a wait-er. I like for things to happen fast, I think instant gratification was a fantastic invention. When I ask for something and the answer is no, my instinct is to ask for that same thing again or scheme to make it happen, rather than look for that better yes around the corner.  If it were up to me, traffic would constantly flow, all meals would be cooked at microwave-speed, I’d have started dating someone six months ago, and I’d have a fabulous fascinating & creatively stimulating job lined up for when my current job ends in two weeks. 

C.S. Lewis* once said “I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been born in God’s thought, and then made by God is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.” 

Hoo boy, isn’t that the truth. Right now I’m in a season of forced waiting and let me tell you, it’s occasionally been the worst. Waiting is painful, it’s scary, and it’s awkward to talk about with your co-workers and relatives. But asmuch as I want God to speed His processes up to match my pace, I will never willingly run ahead of Him. Though I can think of many glorious variations of myself that would be so glamorous to be, they aren’t the person God is choosing me to be. 

God chose to make me a person who needs to wait. 

So, I’d rather wait. 

*Some websites attribute this quote to George MacDonald.